


You can rest now.

by RioRiley



Series: An idiots guide for coping with the events of Avengers Endgame [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 06:35:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19043131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RioRiley/pseuds/RioRiley
Summary: Tony hurts as he's dying. He can't talk. But he's thinking."Tony knows he's done the right thing. He knows he's done the only possible thing to win this battle. But he wishes there could have been another way. Damnit, he had things to live for. Couldn't Steve have done this shit? Surely if he could wield the space God's hammer, then he could have worn the glove right? But Tony knows he couldn't have. He knows it's selfish to wish someone else could be dying in his place. But he also knows how much guilt Steve is going to carry over this. He wishes he could take the guilt off of everyone's shoulders. He knows it had to be him. He hopes someday they will all know that too, and stop asking themselves all the "what if it's"."





	You can rest now.

"I am Iron Man." He says the powerful words as he snaps his fingers, knowing that while he's defeating Thanos, he's also esssentially committing suicide. And that's the funny thing. He's been close to death more times than he cares to keep track of, and each time he wouldn't have minded if he had lost, and died. He doesn't want to die now. He wanted to save everyone and not die in the process, he thought he had made that clear, but he supposes his opinion didn't matter in this particular scheme of things. He wants more time. He wants more things me with his family. More time with Pepper. More Time with Peter, and dear whatever good is listening, he wants more time with Morgan. There have been so many moments in his life where he wouldn't have cared if he died. Moments where he even considered killing himself just for the hell of it. But now, now that he finally has something worth living for, the universe has decided it's his time to die. Fantastic.

He snaps his fingers, and he can feel an awful, horrible burn, flaming up his arm. It hurts more than anything he has ever felt. Ten times worse than anything that happened to him in the middle east. It's worse than the wormhole. It hurts worse than watching Peter turn to dust. It hurts more than Pepper leaving him. The pain is indescribable. He hurts. And one minute he's standing there, acting all tough as he defends the universe, and the next thing he knows the pain has spread to his entire body, and he can't even keep himself upright anymore. He's falling against a pile of rubble. Defender of the universe dies on a pile of junk. How fitting. But then again the Christians believe their savior was born in a stable. Fitting that he, another savior of the world he supposes, dies here. 

He let's out a tired, exhausted breath as he falls against piles of rubble. He's so tired. He's tired of fighting. Tired of saving the world. But he'd stay awake forever if it meant he didn't have to die now. Not like this. Not with everyone he loves watching him. He can't go here. 

Rhodey lands in front of him. And Tony knows he knows what's happening. Tony is too tired to speak. Even breathing hurts so bad he can't stand it. Rhodey is self aware. He knows he isn't the one who should be with Tony in his final moments, but can't stand the thought of leaving him to find someone more fitting, because he doesn't have it in him to risk the chance of Tony dying alone. 

His vision is getting blurry as he feels the cold metal of the war machine suit gently grazing the side of his face that isn't charred to shit. Rhodey is being so gentle, and it's almost alarming to Tony. Rhodey isn't meant to be gentle. He's meant to be rough. He's used to roughhousing with him, working out, and hitting one another, but now, he's soft, he's careful. He's cautious as to how much pressure he puts on Tony, wanting to make sure he doesn't cause him any more pain.

Rhodey isn't meant to be careful.

Tony always had this image in his head that he would die gracefully. He wanted to die and still look like him. He'd been traumatized when he was younger, seeing his father dead, and looking so beaten. He knows there's not a chance he looks good. He's got to look pretty beat up. It won't be a good sight. Oh God, he thinks, Pepper is going to see him like this. It will ruin her. He's praying to whatever son of a bitch is the god in charge, that Morgan doesn't see him like this. And that he's not going to end up damned for cursing the Big Guy as many times as he has in his lifetime.

He's never been one for regretting much. But as he's laying there, knowing that this is it, he wonders if these people he loved even knew he loved them. He's worried he didn't tell them that nearly enough.

He should have told them all that he loved them.

Rhosey is knelt in front of him, and he's only been there a few moments, when Tony hears the ground shift. It's Peter. Tony would give anything for Peter not to see him like this. 

"Mr. Stark?"

"Oh God."

"Mr. Stark can you hear me?"

"It's Peter."

He doesn't even have the energy to move his face, but he wants to cry. He wants to grab that kid and hold him and make sure he knows he's going to be okay without him. He looks so scared. Peter looks absolutely terrified and heartbroken. He's never seen Peter this scared. This vulnerable.

And Peter, he's never seen Tony like this. His hero. The man he looks up to most in this world, crumbled, and burnt and bloody and hurting. He's dying. Iron man shouldn't be able to die. Isn't that in his description? Can't die? God, Peter wishes it was. He wishes he could fix this.

"We won, Mr. Stark."

"We won. You did it sir. You did it."

Tony knows he's done the right thing. He knows he's done the only possible thing to win this battle. But he wishes there could have been another way. Damnit, he had things to live for. Couldn't Steve have done this shit? Surely if he could wield the space God's hammer, then he could have worn the glove right? But Tony knows he couldn't have. He knows it's selfish to wish someone else could be dying in his place. But he also knows how much guilt Steve is going to carry over this. He wishes he could take the guilt off of everyone's shoulders. He knows it had to be him. He hopes someday they will all know that too, and stop asking themselves all the "what if it's".

"I'm so sorry Tony."

And that's the thing that hurts Tony the most. Seeing Peters face, knowing how bad this is hurting him to watch him die. Knowing that he's leaving Pete to fend for himself. That he's leaving everyone he loves to figure out how to live without him. Peter won't even touch him. Tony wishes Peter would just grab him and pull him into the tightest hug he's ever had. Damnit, Tony should have hugged him more.

He can see Pepper now. His sweet wife. He's put her through so much, and a part of him always knew he would put her through this. That someday he was going to die, but he never would have imagined she would have to watch. He watches her carefully pull Peter away, holding him for a brief moment before she kneels in front of him.

She's so beautiful.

His beautiful, strong girl. God, she's so tough. He loves her. He loves her. He loves her. And he'd do anything to be able to tell her that. But out of everyone, he knows she knows. She knows he loves her. She knows he doesn't want to leave her. She knows he would have done anything for things to be different. He hopes she will be okay.

"Hey." She says, looking at him with all the love in the world. 

And by some other worldly power, he manages to crack out a "hey" back to her. He hopes that's not the last damn word he says to his wife. And wishes he could have used that strength to tell her he loves her.

Pepper asks Friday about his health. He's dying. He doesn't need Friday to tell him that. But for Pepper, it makes everything more real.

"Tony." 

"Hey. Look at me."

And he does. He looks at her. God damn she's beautiful. What on Earth did he do to deserve to be with someone as stunning as her. As smart as her. As caring as her. As brave, as her. She's so brave. He loves her. He'll always love her. It's always been her. It always will be.

He's got an odd lightness in his body. All of the built up pain is drifting away. She kisses him.

"We're going to be okay."

And he knows they will. He knows they will be okay. That they will move on. He knows his little girl will always remember him. That's she will make him proud. That Peter will be taken care of. That he's going to be okay. He knows Pepper will continue to be a fucking badass. 

"You can rest now."


End file.
